Owens L'ill Slice of the Web » wonks

The PayPal Helpbot..

Owen — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 16:59:52 +0000

Sarah – PayPal :
Hi. I’m Sarah, PayPal’s automated customer support assistant.
How can I help you today?
You :
How do I cancel my account
Sarah – PayPal :
What type of PayPal account would you like to close:
-Student
-Business
-Premier
-Personal
You :
them all
Sarah – PayPal :
I found the following information. You can click to learn more.
- How do I manage my profile information and preferences?
- How do I close my PayPal account?
- I want to cancel a transaction
You :
How do I close my PayPal account?
Sarah – PayPal :
What type of PayPal account would you like to close:
-Student
-Business
-Premier
-Personal
You :
Personal
Sarah – PayPal :
Before I help you close your account, could you tell me why you’d like to close it?
You :
Because you are a bunch of scum bankers
Sarah – PayPal :
Thank you for providing a reason. We’re sorry that you’ve chosen to close your account. You can close your account by clicking this link. You may need to login to see it.

By the way, if you have a positive balance, you’ll need to withdraw your money before you close your account. Please remember there are no maintenance fees to keep an account open, and that when you close it all your incomplete and scheduled transactions will be canceled.

Note: If your account is limited, you might not be able to close your account until the limited is resolved.

Before we continue, was the information I gave you helpful?
-Yes, this was helpful
-No, this was not helpful
You :
Yes, this was helpful
Sarah – PayPal :
Great. I’m right here if you have any other questions.

Actually; I need to empty my account first; but their helpful savant at least showed me the way.

Link:

Owen — Wed, 18 May 2011 15:01:16 +0000

Gotta Secret?

He’s not a Banker…

Owen — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 00:06:06 +0000

…he’s a very naughty boy.

Or maybe there is something you should know

HaHaHa

Owen — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 17:54:51 +0000

“It is dispiriting and upsetting for anyone who cares about the American tradition of a free press to see Eric Holder, Hillary Clinton and Robert Gibbs turn into H.R. Haldeman, John Erlichman and John Dean. We can only pray that we won’t soon be hit with secret White House tapes of Obama drinking scotch and slurring his words while calling Assange bad names.”

- David Samuels in The Atlantic

Note to self…

Owen — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 19:29:56 +0000

I really should try harder to remember this..

Embedded courtesy of XKCD.com and the beauty of their Licence.

Spammers.. twats.

Owen — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:19:26 +0000

Getting a little problem with those inadequate idiots… the sex-pill scammers. If you see one of their sad adverts appearing in the comments don’t worry, it will be rapidly deleted.

Ikea just lost me.

Owen — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 19:26:00 +0000

Nice products, but when I arrive at the collection counter and get ticket 160 I thought ‘great’ since they had just brought out number 157.
30 Minutes later I got the 36×40 cm piece of wood I needed to collect. It could of quite easily been in the self-service part, like the other 8 pieces of the small cabinet I was buying.
Needless to say I did not buy anything at the food counter which is ‘conveniently’ nearby.
Well, you transparent and crap prats, there are lots of nice furniture shops and I’ll go elsewhere next time.

Modern Business

Owen — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 12:31:00 +0000

This is war. And wars for the customers’ hearts and minds are won by ridicule, bad manners and SHOUTING!!! And, above all else, never give in to reality.
- The Register.

Patently Rediculous

Owen — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 14:52:00 +0000

Cingular tries to patent selecting emoticons (:-O) on a mobile phone.
The worlds patent systems are really, really broken.

Geeks! Don’t go to London..

Owen — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 12:34:00 +0000

It’s Scary on the Tube..